Fear Will Not Win!! (Part 1)

Do you all mind if I get really real right now? So far in my blogs, I have been real and I have shared a lot of me with all of you. But in this blog I am going to get really real with you.

I know I am not alone in this, but I have been struggling with this “pandemic” a lot. My emotions have been on an extreme highs and lows barometer the last few months. I sometimes feel like I am one incident away from really loosing it. There are days when I just don’t want to get out of bed. (I do though, because I make myself) I am on the verge of tears almost constantly. The nicer weather is helping but there is an underlying hurricane of uncertainty and fear and panic and depression brewing stronger than ever.

i haven’t been going anywhere

I have not been hugging my children or my grandchildren (Because I was told I shouldn’t for their safety and mine.) or even going to see them. (This is extremely hard for me!) I haven’t been going anywhere but the grocery store and just recently every once in a while, I started meeting with some of my friend’s one at a time at a coffee shop (staying in our cars – social distancing). This still made me nervous. I am usually thinking that we are parked too close to each other. 🙄But the grocery store is my main outing………

the grocery store😱

When I have to go to the grocery store it takes everything out of me. First of all it’s hard enough when I am there looking around and seeing all of the people in masks and then going to check out and there’s Plexiglas between me and the checkout person. But then you hear the announcement telling us to “Stay at least 6 feet or two cart lengths away from others for everybody’s safety………..” Every time I hear this, I feel like I’m in the Hunger Games movie!!! And it is really real!! I come home and bring everything in the house then I wash my hands for at least 20 seconds and proceed to wipe everything down that I just bought with disinfectant and the rinse. I dry everything and put it away. Wash my hands again for at least 20 seconds. After about an hour and half later, everything is put away and I crawl in bed and try not to cry. I am wiped physically and emotionally.

I would like your INPUT

Okay so I love to hear from you all on every one of my blogs, but especially on this one!!! I was at the grocery store the other day checking out. I looked up at the person bagging my groceries with a smile on my face. My smile quickly dissipated when I noticed he has his mask pulled down and he is licking his finger and proceeds to pull open a bag. I was dumbfounded! I politely asked him if I could have another bag because he just licked his finger. He snapped at me and said “Do you want me to bag your groceries? I will have to do that!” I politely said that’s okay, if you can’t open the bags without doing that I don’t mind bagging my own. He said “I can bag them without doing it” in a very snotty tone. and proceeded to bag my groceries without washing his hands. And was very rude.

I was walking toward the door to leave the store and turned around quickly not really sure what I was going to do. I found myself walking over to the customer service desk and told the woman behind the desk what had just happened and while I was explaining it, trying not to sound as hysterical as I felt, I started crying. Oh my goodness what in the what is happening to me??? She was also clearly upset about this. Thankfully!!! I got in my car and turned on my music very loud and started to sing. This helps me to feel calm after shopping. I was actually feeling a little better about shopping these days, with a new attitude until this happened. I would love to hear your thoughts and how would you have handled this and does everyone go through what I do putting everything away??

is it okay to hug my GRANDKIDS???

There are so many people spending time with their families and pretty much living normal lives. If I am going to get really real I’ll admit I get jealous and feel so sad and confused when I see or hear this. Is it okay to hug my grandkids? Is it okay to go to family functions? Can I have my brother and my nephews over for dinner? I just don’t know. Or do I? No, I don’t. Yes I do. Maybe I do….or don’t. Maybe it’s overreacting to not do these things, maybe it’s taking chances and putting my family or myself in danger if I do these things. I don’t know. (This is what happens in my head. grrrr) But, I will not let fear win! I know in my heart that when I am filled with fear I am not really trusting God. So I am deciding to trust!! And the next time I see my grandchildren I will give them big hugs!!

So, I started reading articles and listening to podcasts about this “pandemic” on so many different views that my head spins. The fact is that we just don’t know the actual facts. This along with the media hype and a whole lot of political input is causing so much fear everywhere. I was victim to this, because I let that fear in. I know I do not need to fear. I believe in something so much bigger than this!! But oh man it is so easy to get caught up in it.

I am putting my foot down

I am deciding to put my foot down on fear, hard!! Pat and I decided we are going to live as “normal” a life as we can right now. We will still take extra precautions and probably not go into a restaurant for awhile, but we will not deprive ourselves of family and filling ourselves and our home with peace. So, there are steps to finding and holding on to peace. My first and most important step for me is to read the Bible and to Pray. Below are some things I also think will help.

I would love to hear your input and views on this. You can comment below. Or go to my website at Justbreathedeeply.com and fill out the form for private conversation.

**FYI Keep in mind, if you are looking for a political argument or deep political discussion you will not find it here with me 😉

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The following items are things I researched and/or own to help calm my soul these are a few awesome products that I recommend. Simply click on picture to find out more about them.

*Please note that some of the links in this blog are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission. Know that I only recommend products, services and resources that I personally believe in and feel are genuinely helpful.

Check out my “Inspirational Song of the Week” on my website at Justbreathedeeply.com

You may also enjoy reading “The Feeling Of Empowerment” and “Even In Isolation, You Are Not Alone“

I love you all for taking the time to read and share this! 🧡